Early Years of Parenting

So driving today and I pass by an auto shop that brought back a memory ❤️

Early in my parenting years my kids went everywhere with me, even on sales calls.

Stress can build as any parent knows!

Just came back from a sales call and we are stuck in traffic waiting through rush hour. I need to go home and make dinner and get these kids bathed and to bed 🛏

Traffic just starts moving and my truck starts slipping. Torque converter (linkage between transmission and engine)went and I’m stuck in traffic with four diapers 😜 and a sinking ship.

A Good Samaritan ropes my truck and pulls me to the shop. Panicked and feeling pretty helpless, we sat their for a couple hours waiting on a ride.

Now this is the best part 😂

So in all the confusion the one thing I didn’t check was my automatic 4×4.

My daughter kicking her feet to the music 🎶 had put it into neutral 😂

So remember….

When life gets confusing and seems out of control.

Take a moment and Breathe.

It might just be as simple as noticing your in neutral ✊️

#NormAverage #Dadlife #Parentlife

#motivation

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Think like a Dad, not like a Man

Evolving into a Dad

is more than societies battle of what a Man should be!

Think like a Dad and not like a Man.

The survival of any nation, culture or idea has always succeeded through the next generation.

Kids are the Future and they are our best lessons.

#Normaverage #dadlife #parentlife #evolution #evolutionOfMan #kidsfirst

#kidsarethefuture #familywealth #Fatherhood

A message to my children

I am your father and your uncle.

I have held your hand when scared and picked you up when down. I will always be there in the dark as well as light. I am your friend and your teacher but most importantly I am the beginning of your story and I take that to my heart.

You will wander and stumble and life won’t be easy. It’s a mixture of different realities. Methods of teaching and family dynamics that are constantly changing as our human race finds itself in its ever changing quest.

Sometimes you will fit in and without question trust in others and at times you will be crushed by the character others have chosen to be.

Throughout all of these moments of learning new people and figuring out situations remember the rules.

Trust in them as they will help you understand why choices are made and the tools others where given to go out into the world.

Listen to the voices and hear what your surroundings are saying. Words are magic and can be misinterpreted when painted just right.

Patterns and behaviours will tell you everything you need as they don’t lie. For Most it’s an autopilot setting in the brain. A program within directing the person towards the feelings they are most addicted too.

Like any addict they will deny this and it’s not your responsibility to change their minds.

Everyone wakes up at different times but waking a sleepwalker can be dangerous.

Everyone needs to go through either experiences or education to reach their own conclusion.

There is no way to live. No way I can tell you that’s right short of not harming others. Your life is yours. A journey that no one can understand other than you. I can believe in you and give advice but your choices are yours and you will have to own that.

No matter what path you choose in life the rules I have taught you are guide lines to achieve your end destination. It’s your choice to follow them and regardless I love you but these rules will lessen the weight.

Help you see through the patterns of life and build a foundation of self for your world and those around you.

I Love You

#KeepStrong

Narcissism

Narcissism

-is a taught behaviour like empathy. This should never be forgotten as our children imprint from both parents as well as all the people around them.

If you feel the need to prove your x is a narcissist please remember that this action is also a narcissist behaviour and considered social bullying.

Your children will also pick up on the fact of your efforts and this in it self might create issues in parenting.

There is only one real way to deal with a narcissist and that is to accept them for who they are and not who you want them to be. The constant expectations to change that person and your feelings of defeat only fuel this persons gift.

#NormAverage #PositiveParenting #momlife #Dadlife #parenting #parentlife

The Second Stage of Learning

Photo 2017-11-21, 7 41 43 PM“We are all fingers on a hand and together we are strong”

I became a single father 10 years ago and it felt like my life had stopped.

It was only a part of my life that had stopped, the proverbial rat race that I was addicted to. Running a business fulfilled my gifts and felt like purpose.

When life “paused” something great happened.

Yes I went through the withdraws like every single parent goes through. You want to play like an adult and it seems like everyone else around you is having fun. The lesson you teach go painstakingly slow and your at your child’s screaming command.

I went from talking with customers and running crews to parent teacher meetings and running a new type of crew. I had four children at that point in life.

It was this moment that also gave so much.

Like my first day of high school bumbling around , as so was I in this first part of parenting.

The second lesson in life!

A moment of relearning all the lessons of childhood over again through the eyes of your children.

A graduation from selfishness and ego entwined in a society view of finding ones self, too it not being about you.

This education molded me, honed my gifts in ways I never knew I could achieve.

Hammered on my brain with such a unique tapping of sweet voices of asking the same questions over and over;

Can I have a treat?

Dad what are you doing?

I’ve got to go pee.

Gifts aside what parents go through in raising children creates what I like to call the “Jedi Brain”.

It’s worth every moment.

Through this lesson Norm Average was born and the phrase “We are all fingers on a hand and together we are strong”

My kids being my fingers and me being the thumb.

At this time Norm Average was only born and the way I was saying the phrase was still selfish. Only including my family and not the world around us.

As in the beginning of everyone’s Second Stage of learning!

Over the years and lessons this became more and reached a larger circle mixing in neighbours, parents and my children’s friends. Looking at the world with New eyes realizing where my gifts belonged.

I had always used my gifts for monetary reasons.

The Rat race ideology!

Parenting had given me a love for people and an understanding of how beautiful and unique we all are.

How fallacious and helpless we can all be at any given moment in life.

We are all someone’s child!

I took a platform that I had built for my children and started teaching the world.

The gifts that had been honed for years in my “Jedi” training had become more than just mine. My world was more than just my family and I knew that it was mine as well as your responsibility to help create a better world for our children.

“Anyone can be a Superhero it starts at Home”

My platform was built for kids as a Father wanting to leave a gift for his children. A recipe that can be applied to every aspect of life without conflicting with anyone’s person, cultural or religious beliefs. Taking all the ego and gender out of the equation because Superheroes exists in all country’s and with all genders. The Heroes Journey and we all live our own type of existence in that realm.

Years have passed and I know help parents all over the world.

I’ve watched families grow and helped coach many others in getting their dreams going.

My kids are reaching their mid teens and also teach and follow the platform. Achieving their dreams one step at a time.

Helping others is amazing!

Learning how to use your gifts to help others is life changing.

The Dark Passenger 


The void within some is bottomless and black. A forever thirst that can never be filled. What once was innocent transformed into a troll like state.

Predators hammering on keyboards with one intention.
A cowardly mission to destroy people’s lives.

I don’t hate or hold grudges as I know that their outward expressions and actions are like reflections in the mirror.
Children that never left a moment in their lives and it followed into adulthood.
Even when you walk away they fixate and stalk. Patterns that they wear on their sleeves that not only corrupt their very existence but that of loved ones as well.
Expectations……Lost expectations, letting oneself down and blaming others. This is not how to meet yourself.
Rule #3

Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be.

As a parent I have learnt this to well.
Watching grown men acting like children throwing tantrums.
These cowards want to fill your vascular with the same burning despair. All they have is self doubt and low self opinions. That self doubt has its lips curled back flashing its teeth at them as it runs circles around them.

Children in a way don’t know better or have been taught to be this way.

Adults should know better!
A Norm Average / Gordon Nolan

-Collaboration

Why Moms are so important.

mom-banner-700Although it should be obvious and the image of a mother should be put on a pedestal, it hasn’t always been that for me. We are in fact products of our environments and this being said we hold on to our beliefs with blind faith. To take away beliefs is to admit wrong or worse as it unveils your choices on the path of your life.

I was taught to objectify women in a world where they worked for my dad. My brothers and I seen the image of a woman as a beautiful picture dancing on a stage. Choreographed just for us with an angelic silhouette only to be pillaged at the end of the song.

Surprisingly we were not alone in these thoughts.

This image of how a man should act towards women was not shunned but in fact praised. Through my teen years this idea was vindicated by mass amounts of friends that followed in a conquest of conquering virgins and the more I achieved the more I heard “your just like your father”. To a son these words are like the gold medal in the Olympics, an achievement of such grandeur that blind faith begins with.

To add to the encouragement where cartoons and kid shows that in them selves taught that these actions where normal. My father would come home and bellow the word “woman” just like Fred Flintstone and in that caveman way of thinking, she better have had her womanly duties ready. Even the Beaver’s mom was portrayed as a frantic woman that only had one side to her and although I never experienced that type of motherhood, I was taught that image.

The Damsel in distress.

Throughout my life and even more into my adult years these same thoughts where once again justified by the chatter of mom’s. These women would talk in front of us and tell stories of how it’s all their dads fault. Recanting on the violence and torture they where put through and how they only escaped with their children.  I can’t say for sure but as a kid it felt like I was the only one with a dad instead of a mom. I’d watch my friends torn by thoughts of their relations to monsters and the paradox of their mothers attraction to my father.

This followed into my relationship with my children’s mother and over the ten years and four kids I somehow became her monster. Only to be judged by a group of her peers and branded as the many men before me. A justified reason to leave letters on our pillows saying goodbye, with one final message ” I hope you understand how I feel”.

A Generation of dads.

It is amazing how the world changes through out your life. The crossing of generations and the seeding of idea’s. My children know more families now being raised by dads than I ever did as a child. In ways I see positives in this as more father figures are being cast in stone and at the same time the family unit itself has changed so drastically from my childhood that there is no normal anymore. The same stories I heard as a kid have morphed into men telling the same reasoning I heard the last generation of women tell tale of.

As a single dad dating, your first date always brings up “What went wrong”, it’s daunting. A continuous reflection of childhood stories mixed with a new adult implications. The constant approval that your not that monster not only to the women I’ve dated but also to myself.

My minds manifestation.

At this point your reading and wondering where this is going. I cast no blame on my life or my choices but the longer I’ve been a dad, the more I’ve realized I wasn’t taught to be one. The lack of these teachings has also stunted my ability to be a partner. This isn’t only my problem but a world wide problem and the raising of a daughter and future mother has changed my perspective on woman.

I can’t say I will ever understand the stay at home mom but I have a deep respect for the last generation of single moms. Being a single parent is hard, you are alone responsible for the outcome of a future, which society itself complicates. Sometimes you feel helpless to the tears of your child, grasping for answers that you yourself don’t completely understand. Your a protector and yet as strong as you can become thoughts and ideas are planted by the person that insists your a monster.

Why moms are important.

As a man this thought would have never occurred but as a dad I ask for your help.

I wasn’t taught to be a dad or husband, as most men in society today. We hear advertisements like “back to school prices for mom” that reassure the out of date place as taught in the family unit. Relationships and the art of communication have been lost in a generational quest to create equality. Baby boomers where taught different than I was and the next taught even more diverse ideas. Yet as adults we all sit in the same room casting judgement and arguing on the faults. With each grouping of man holding onto the previous beliefs and now women planning on the single parent life before it even begins, or worse holding on to the monster card which is socially acceptable.

We need to reinvent the concept of man and in this need your help.

Women have completely changed every aspect of their positioning in life but the scales have not been tipped. There are still issues of equality in government and in any status of power like religion or politics. Yet our future is still in your hands as there are more single moms and stay at home moms than dads. It’s never too late to learn but childhood sets the patterns for the rest of our lives. This power is long term and may seem trivial but holds more sway than the egotistical cavemen that try to hold on to the old ways.

With your help and understanding that the quest for equality has never included teaching boys to be fathers, moms become the answer to future heart breaks.

I understand that most men will not comprehend this as it’s taken me forty years to grasp and my campaign “Think like a dad,not like a man” has received more mother support than fathers.

We still have groups of men that desecrate the sanctity of motherhood not only in person but with online groups holding onto the archaic man. Our boys will grow up and have to face these true monsters as men and our daughters as wives and mothers. This can not continue in a cycle of overlapping generations.

The word mother.

I have never experienced what I am asking but I have seen it.

I know this is possible as moms are goddesses among men. You create life in a way that gives so much of you. As a man I will never truly understand this but as a single dad I can encompass the force you wield.

A mom is more than a woman, and holds the power of this worlds future!